Creativity built my pathway

There have been many turning points in my life. Most of the time, I didn’t realize they were happening as I slowly followed my heart down a pathway supported by creativity.

Some of the principal players in my life didn’t understand my need to create, but the turning points progressed forward regardless.

The first major turning point was unmistakable: my divorce after twenty-three years of marriage. But the walk along the pathway began long before I signed the legal papers.

And I know exactly what SPARKED THE CHANGE: The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. I read it alongside fellow watercolor artists who gathered in Dolores Schmidt’s Winter Park, Florida, home.

Before watercolor, I had painted in oils and even won local awards in small shows. At one of those shows, I met Dolores—her booth was right next to mine. We started conversing, and she invited me to try one of her watercolor classes. I jumped at the chance.

Seeing Differently

Today, as I sit at my desk, my first watercolor painting hangs behind me. It’s based on a photo I took while walking the coastal trail at West Quoddy State Park near Lubec, Maine.

Looking at it now, I noticed a ghostly harbor seal in the upper right background. Its eye, formed by one of the flowers, seems to look right at me. I can almost hear her bark as she swims through Cobscook Bay.

Then, my attention shifted to a tiny twig caught under a fallen branch near the center of the painting.

Curious, I searched through my files for the original photo. Was it under M for Maine or W for West Quoddy Head? I tried M first—no luck.

From Chaos to Understanding

When I finally found it in the W section, I thought, How did I make sense of this jumbled mess of plant life?

And then I remembered. I felt myself back there, shoes crunching on the gravel trail, my nostrils full of the fragrance of moist, rich earth, and the movement of cool air as a whisper seemed to pull my attention toward the forest.

The flowers were reaching toward a patch of sunlight in a thick stand of spruce trees, where very little light reached the forest floor.

Although I looked at my photo, I painted with the easy abandon only a novice knows.

Comparing the reference photo to my painting reminds me how incredible Dolores Schmidt was as a teacher.

She always asked, Why?
Why did I stop here on the trail?
What drew me in?
How could I highlight what mattered most in the scene?

Although I don’t remember every detail, the warm feeling of being in a home with artists fills my heart. I’m certain Dolores helped me shape this painting, which I now see daily.

Shifts and Realizations

My first creative turning point was switching from oils to watercolors.
The second was attending classes with Dolores.
The third was reading The Artist’s Way, completing the weekly tasks, journaling daily, and talking through it with five women who gathered to paint.

I don’t often credit a book with changing my life, but The Artist’s Way—and the company of artists like Katherine Davis—helped me realize that something in my life, and my marriage, wasn’t quite right.

When things felt off, I tried to fix them.

I converted to Catholicism even though my husband had attended church three times, our wedding, and the baptism of each of our sons.
I took up cycling, riding rural backroads to feel the wind on my face as I pedaled up and down the hills.

A part of me believed that if I tried harder, everything would be okay. So, I completed the MS 150, cycling 150 miles over two days, overtaking young men as I pushed my borrowed bicycle uphill, only slowing for the water stations.

Eventually, I convinced my husband to accompany me on a cycling vacation through Vermont and New Hampshire.

After all that effort, my marriage hadn’t changed.
But I had.

And after trying for a couple more years, I finally let go.